When we read this particular passage from Matthew’s gospel, many of us focus on the last verse, "For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among you." It is indeed a comforting statement.

We tend to read quickly through the first part because it speaks of how to deal with conflict in the church. That’s not an issue we want to talk about.

But a church family is like every other family with its inherent stresses and strains, outbursts and perceived insults and resentments. We can all use a little help and some basic instructions in how to live and work together in harmony. And we are offered that this morning. Here is Jesus’ Conflict Resolution Manual, given to us as Christ’s love is given to us – to help us and to raise up the body of Christ – the church – you and I.

Chapter 18 of Matthew’s gospel provides an opportunity for Jesus to teach this important lesson. The chapter begins with a question from the disciples – who is the greatest in heaven? Jesus tells them that honour belongs to children – the humblest of all God’s people. He then goes on to warn his followers that anyone who puts, in his words, "a stumbling block before one of these little ones", woe unto them. Jesus follows this with the Parable of the Lost Sheep, reminding the disciples once more that God rejoices when one of the lost is found and returns home. Do not despise the little ones, he says, for God cherishes them.

Immediately following this discussion of greatness, humility, and innocence, Jesus talks about conflict. He has just witnessed the disciples jockeying for position in heaven. No doubt, when they asked their questions, they anticipated that they might hear their own names being spoken. Jesus, however, quickly deflates their egos when he holds up the child. Can’t you imagine what the disciples were thinking when Jesus responded as he did? Just like everyone else, the disciples must have grappled with conflict and jealousy. It is, I think, a normal part of living in community.

Jesus then offers a solution to solving the inevitable conflict. First, he says, "speak to the person with whom you are in conflict, but do it when you are alone together. Do not embarrass or offend anyone in front of others. That will only escalate the pain and the anger. We all instinctively know that. If you publicly admonish a child, a sibling, or a co-worker in front of others, that person will likely strike back. If you speak quietly to them when no one is around, the results are much more likely to be amicable.

But, what if that doesn’t work? Well, then you take along one or two others and you try again. For many years, I volunteered with a palliative care support organization. We encouraged people who had received a cancer or other life-threatening diagnosis to take someone along to their next doctor’s appointment, someone who could listen carefully to what the doctor said. When you’re in the middle of something that is emotionally devastating, you don’t always hear things clearly. You may miss something very important. You may think you hear something because you want to hear it. Having an impartial witness will help you to better communicate and understand.

Jesus may be suggesting that you take along a witness, not so much to protect yourself or to offer a unified front when confronting someone, but rather to give both parties in the conflict some perspective.

And we need to remember, as well, the last verse of our reading: "For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them." Perhaps there is more than safety in numbers. Perhaps, Christ’s presence will enable the resolution of the problem.

Finally, Jesus says, if all these efforts don’t resolve the conflict, take the matter to the church. Rely on the collective wisdom and experience of the wider body in order to resolve your conflict.

While I’m not ordinarily inclined to quote The Manual during a sermon, I want to share a part of it with you this morning. This is what our church has to say about conflict and its resolution.

While this statement refers to conflict in the church, it can be applied to all conflict. Each of us is vulnerable to conflict and we all suffer where it exists. It saps our energy and diverts our focus. When it occurs, Jesus urges us to pull out all the stops, do everything we can to resolve and end it.

But even Jesus realizes that sometimes there is no good resolution, that no matter what you do, some people will always be like oil and water. They don’t naturally mix very well. They may blend for a while, but eventually they’ll separate again.

So, when separation occurs, what, as Christians, can we do? Jesus says, "and if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector."

We all know, from numerous references in the Bible, that tax collectors were considered to be the lowest of the low. They collaborated with the Romans to levy taxes on their own people. Not only that, but many collected more tax than was needed and pocketed the excess. Bad people, tax collectors, unloved and disrespected by both the Romans and the Jews. So it does seem as if Jesus is saying to eject that person from the community and go on without them. He appears to be advocating a "tough love" approach.

But is that the way Jesus treated tax collectors and other outsiders? Matthew 11, verse 19 refers to Jesus as "a friend of tax collectors and sinners". Time and again in the gospels we witness Jesus befriending those whom others have cast aside. Perhaps what Jesus is really saying is: "Love them anyway." If you can’t resolves your differences, then just love them, despite the conflict.

It’s awfully hard to maintain a grudge or perceived hurt if you start to pray for that person, if you offer them Christian love instead of confrontation and anger. Loving persistence will break down any barrier. Try it. I know it works.

We have talked this morning of conflict and its resolution. It is a valuable lesson, one we must all learn and then practice.

But our hearts and minds and prayers are also focused today on our friends and neighbours to the South. Hurricane Katrina has devastated New Orleans and much of Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama. Each day we expect the news to get better and each day we see more and more tragedy unfolding.

One cannot even imagine the pain and suffering of our sisters and brothers left suddenly without even the bare necessities of life. The United States is, we are told, the richest and most powerful country in the world, but it will take more than money to ease this situation. It will take the greatest measure of faith, endurance, imagination, and persistence that our friends and neighbours have ever imagined, and we must be with them through this. It cannot be done alone. Just as God calls us to resolve conflict, we are also called to love and to help one another. Rebuilding an entire city and its economy will be a long and arduous task, and as Christians, we must be a part of that. I have provided information on how to donate money to relief efforts. But there is more that we can do.

Remember what Jesus said:

"For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among you."

• So, gather together as God’s people to face the situation and seek a common solution.
• Offer your prayers.
• Reach out to one another.
• Persist in doing everything you can to alleviate the pain and suffering and know that God is here, God is there, God is everywhere – and God is love.

"Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven." Let us set loose such an outpouring of love, compassion, hope and help as has never been seen and the heavens will rejoice.

There is no room for conflict in a world filled with love and compassion.

Thanks be to God.

Amen